The Trash Cans and the Freshmen
by Lyn-Cartlascedemus
Summary: It's the first day of school and Emmett wants to torture some freshman
1. The Trash cans

The Trashcans

Emmett was lying on the couch waiting for his siblings to come down. Rosalie had left earlier before Emmett had even gotten home from his hunt. He hoped Edward had already left so he could drive his jeep. It was trash day and he wanted the chance to smash some trashcans. Rosalie would probably kill him when she found out, but the trashcans were out to get him. Well that was what he was going to tell people when they asked why he did it.

"Hate to ruin your plans," Edward said gliding down the stairs, "but I'm here."

Emmett groaned. "Can't I drive my jeep anyway? I want to crush some trashcans!" Emmett was about to start begging.

"Why do you want to crush trashcans?" Edward asked. Sometimes Edward thought Emmett was insane.

"They're out to get me!" Emmett said. He sounded like a 5 year old girl when he said it.

Edward smiled and stifled a laugh. "How do you know this?" Edward asked. As soon as he did he guessed he would regret asking.

Emmett smiled deviously, "Rosalie's hair told me to." Emmett had officially decided on his 'perfect' excuse. Carlisle would freak out if he found out. Rosalie would kill him. Edward was laughing hysterically when Alice came down the stairs. "Who are you riding with little sister?" Emmett asked noticing her.

"At least warn her you're going to crush trashcans!" Edward protested.

"Ok, I'm going to crush trashcans," Emmett said, "who are you riding with the sane driver or the other sane driver who has trashcans that are out to get him?" Alice laughed her twinkling laughter

"I'll go with you then Emmett." Alice said.

"Yay!" Emmett exclaimed. He began to literally skip towards his massive jeep singing a song he had obviously made up just seconds ago. "The trashcans tried to eat me, the trashcans tried to eat me but I ran them over with my jeep!" His song was to a tune almost the same as 'The Farmer in the Del'. Alice followed him and literally had to jump to get into his jeep due to her small size. In a matter of seconds he had crushed 7 trashcans.


	2. The Beginning Plans

The Beginning Plans

As they arrived at the school Emmett found Rosalie while Alice went off to talk to Jasper. "Hey Rose!" Emmett said excitedly.

Rosalie glared. "Why are you so excited?" she asked irritably.

"It's the first day of school! The best day to torture freshmen, they're already in a panic." Emmett said cackling evilly.

"You're worse than me Em'." Rosalie replied smiling now. At least she was smiling now.

"Will you help me?" Emmett asked with a pleading look in his eyes. He had it all planned out suddenly he remembered that he needed something Rosalie had had in her car. "Hey Rosalie, do you still have that tu-tu?" he asked as sweetly as possible.

"Shut up!" she hissed glaring again, "I'm not wearing it around school. That was private use only."

"Not for you here at school, Rose," Emmett explained, "for me here at school, to scare the freshmen." He had a perfect plan for scaring the freshmen; well he really had about 100 and was going to start with the one involving the tu-tu and work his way through the list.

"It's in my trunk," Rosalie told him, "You can have it, if you promise that you'll still have pants on under it." The last thing Rosalie wanted to see were the freshmen girls staring at her husband in nothing but a tu-tu that was her size.

"Of course I will." Emmett said smiling at her while getting in her trunk for the tu-tu. A tube of bright red lipstick stuck out of his pocket a little. Rosalie saw it.

"Emmett, why do you have Alice's lipstick? She'll kill you if she finds out." Rosalie warned. Emmett grinned a huge maniacal grin. Rosalie stared at him waiting for an answer.

"You'll find out, you'll find out," Emmett muttered stuffing most of the tu-tu in his hoody pocket, "Now we wait for the freshmen to gather in there little corner." freshmen began arriving and gathering in the cafeteria for the orientation they gave every year for the freshmen. "Show time." Emmett said laughing manically.

"I'm definitely watching this." Rosalie said smiling as Emmett pulled on the tu-tu and pulled out the tube of Alice's blood red lipstick.

"Will you make a lightning bolt scar on my forehead, like Harry Porter's?" Emmett asked holding out the lipstick for her. Rosalie nodded.

"It's Harry Potter not Porter." she told him while applying the lipstick scar. Emmett looked aghast.

"You watched Harry Potter?" he asked in shock. Could vampires go into shock?

"I got bored while you were hunting once," Rosalie explained, "now go scare freshmen." She recapped the lipstick and put it in her purse; she'd give it back to Alice later. There was a bag hanging over Emmett's shoulder. It made her even more interested.


	3. The Freshmen

The Freshmen

Alice, Jasper, and Edward filed into the cafeteria before Rosalie and Emmett. None of them were freshmen but Emmett was well known in the family for his antics. The freshmen were unsuspecting as always. This made Emmett smirk. It made things even more fun when they were naive.

Emmett started dancing around the tables chanting, "I am Princess Butterfly, bow down to me!" He could hear his siblings and wife laughter behind him.

"The poor unsuspecting freshmen. Too bad this is too funny to pity them for." Edward thought.

"The fear he strikes in them is unnatural." Jasper said trying to split his feelings away from the freshmen's. Then there was Alice's twinkling laughter next to him and he started laughing himself. The Cullen's eyes followed Emmett. He was heading towards a group of freshmen that were cowering in a corner.

Emmett smiled at them the artificial light reflecting off of his teeth. "I said bow!" he growled. Instantly they all fell to their knees. He then began skipping towards another group hiding off in a corner. "Did y'all know Harry Potter is real?" he asked letting his Tennessee accent affect some of the words. Emmett made sure that he said Harry Potter right. A few of the freshmen nodded but the rest stood dumbfounded. Emmett continued, "I'm Harry Potter and Voldemort's real name is Aro Volturi."

Another idea came to Emmett's head. "And guess what?" he said rhetorically. Some of the freshmen said "what" anyway. "Not only is Aro, Voldemort but the Wicked Witch of the West," Emmett was having a lot of fun, "and his monkey minions names are Jane, Alec, Demitri, and Felix."

Emmett ran back to his family to get the bag Rosalie had been wondering what was in it. She hadn't realized that Emmett had put it there. "Enjoying the show guys?" he asked picking up the bag. All of his family nodded smiling.

Earlier that day Emmett had bought multiple different types of fruits and bit them. Not hard enough to break it or take a bite, but hard enough to leave bite marks. He decided he would call it his 'vampire fruit army'. He pulled out some apples and peaches showing his family the bite marks. "It's my army of vampire fruits." he explained before turning to the mortified freshmen. "So itty bitty freshmen, do you believe in vampires?" he asked, "Or better yet, vampire fruit?" Not a single freshmen said anything.

"Emmett watch it." Edward warned, "If the Volturi finds out we're in a lot of trouble." Edward didn't think the Volturi would come but it was just a precaution for him and his family. Emmett just shrugged him off.

"Vampire fruit army," Emmett yelled, "attack Jasper!" He picked up some of the fruits and held them towards Jasper. Suddenly and too quickly for the freshmen to see it he flicked the fruits in Jasper's face. Some freshmen 'oohed' and 'awed' but others screamed. It was mainly the girls that screamed though.

"Emmett," Jasper growled, "don't use me as your example." Jasper was mad and if it wasn't so funny that the freshmen believed everything that came out of Emmett's mouth, Jasper probably would have attacked him right in front of everyone. Suddenly a smile broke across Jasper's face. "Hey Emmett let me see some." Jasper said holding his hand out. Emmett handed over some fruit

"So freshmen," Jasper called in a disturbing voice, "I think this army wants to attack you!" Jasper threw the fruits in his hand at a group of freshmen huddling in a corner. Again there were screams. Jasper had thrown it too fast for anyone to see him throwing it. Alice and Edward followed their lead.

"Are you scared freshmen?" Alice called in her soprano voice. Some of them nodded others did nothing. While all eyes were on Alice, Edward took the chance to throw most of the fruit left in the bag and unsuspecting freshmen.

"Run! Incoming principal!" Edward hissed hearing the principal's thoughts. The Cullen family walked out the door opposite of where the principal was coming in. The laughed as they heard the principal yell, "What is going on? Why is there screaming?"

Emmett smiled at his family. "So guys how'd you like my show this year?" Emmett asked.

"It was awesome!" they all said in unison, "We're so helping every year now." Alice added.


	4. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Smeyer does, all I own is the plot.**


End file.
